Quite a tangent…

March 11th, 2005 § 1

Buckle up (to steal a phrase from Rick)! Here’s how my train of thought derailed just now:

While read­ing the rather enchant­ing bio­graph­i­cal intro­duc­tion to Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker — Let me inter­ject that I found what will become a per­sonal motto while perus­ing the van­ity cards of Chuck Lorre, per­sonal mes­sages that can be found at the end of each episode of his shows, Two and a Half Men and Dharma and Greg. It is rather D.P.: “I believe that what doesn’t kill us makes us bit­ter.” Any­hoo — I smiled at read­ing about Parker’s love of ani­mals, espe­cially dogs — we went to look at dogs today at the San Diego Humane Soci­ety today, but it seems as though our dog, Mana, may need to be a solo dog, the bitch. — and she even owned a para­keet which she named Onan. This made me think of our ‘keets and one of our love­birds, all of whom are extremely gifted mas­tur­ba­tors. Self-gratification, how­ever, was not what she meant. She would, it seems, give as her rea­son for his name Exo­dus 38:9 — neat site for bible research by the way — point­ing sim­ply to the fact that he was a messy eater. :) Check­ing into this, how­ever, made me laugh. for the most part, the phrase used in most bibles for what Onan did was some vari­a­tion on “seed-spilling”, but accord­ing to other bible versions/translations, he:

  • spilled the semen on the ground (New Liv­ing Translation)
  • frus­trated the pur­pose (Webster’s Bible Translation)
  • destroyed ‘it’ to the earth (Young’s Lit­eral Translation)
  • pre­vented con­cep­tion (Ampli­fied Bible)
  • made sure that she would not get preg­nant (Con­tem­po­rary Eng­lish Version)
  • emit­ted on the ground (New King James Version)
  • did not com­plete the sex act (New Cen­tury Version)

Sweet Jesus (lit­er­ally and fig­u­ra­tively)!! If this and the other dumbings-down I encoun­tered (try com­par­ing your­self — it is shock­ing!) weren’t so funny, I’d be scared.

§ One Response to “Quite a tangent…”

  • donna says:
    3/14/2005 at 9:16 am

    I believe our sev­en­ties ter­mi­nol­ogy was “pulled out”, which accord­ing to one of my boyfriends, was rather like being in fifth gear and throw­ing the car into reverse…

    Onan the seed spiller… cute.…

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