Epic FAIL
| May 14th, 2008This morning I turned in what should have been a well-written, well-researched paper on Petrarch’s Secretum, but was instead “secretum” of an entirely different sort. Much as the thought of doing poorly in my academic endeavors sends me into a tailspin (SDSU turtles swim toward tears - there’s a research idea if I ever take a bio course), I am fine receiving what I earned. My real concern is loss of acceptance and regard: that of others as well as my own. The pride that keeps me from asking for help is born of that very fear. (”They” will think less of you if you have to ask for help, and besides, you should be able to do it on your own!) Lessons learned: Don’t underestimate the requirements of a project. Ask for help as soon as you are stuck. Leave places that are high in distractions when working on a paper. Choose courses that fit the rest of your goings-on (and that are appropriate for you as a Bear of Little Brain). Things yet to be learned: How to choose an appropriate subject/topic for a paper. How to plan my time. I am sure there are more lessons to be learned, but right now work calls and I have to turn off the medieval angst and become a stoic worker-bee. I am sorry, professor. I feel as though, because I was in class at your invitation, that I let you down as much as I let myself down. Also, sorry, Gabe, in advance, for the horrid office-mate I am bound to be today.
Oh, hon, I’m sure it’s better than you think. Heck, I don’t even know what Petrarch’s Secretum IS.
My guys are going through epic fail this semseter, failing classes and driving tests and goodness knows what else. I have no clue how to help them, and feel like an epic failure as a mom for not beating them more often to work harder and actually DO THEIR HOMEWORK.
Sigh. And I lost my dog. It’s been a most depressing week here, too. Very much looking forward to the weekend!