Just Kristin » previous incarnations of just kristin

Where’s The Door?

justkristin — Mon, 13 Dec 2004 11:12:52 +0000

I know that there are lots of things I am supposed to be doing, lots of ways I am supposed to be in the world… Sometimes, though, I get very confused. When I feel guilty about being the way I am, people who love me tell me that I should feel no guilt, asking, “If you had [insert illness such as cancer here] would you feel guilty?” Well, chances are, I would. However, I know that the answer is supposed to be “no.” Fine. No guilt. On the other hand, when I am told things like, “Just don’t be sad,” (although I haven’t heard this one in a while, thanks to the understanding nature of my family and friends) or “Don’t think of yourself as helpless, but rather see each event in your life as a choice you have made,” I cannot help but feel the clammy grip of my ever-lurking sense of shame: Why can’t I just be happy? Why do I feel so helpless? Why, even when I have intellectually isolated each choice I have made, do I feel that I had little say in which path I ended up taking? I have to leave this room of mine. I am sure that there is a door somewhere in this dark little hidey-hole that I cannot see, a hidden door with a knob only on the outside, perhaps. Once I am in a brighter place (or perhaps outside — my door, if I have one, might open out to a park or a garden) I might be able to see how easy these tacks are to take. Other people who live in brighter rooms seem to have no problem. Until then, though, I will keep shoulder-ramming my walls in the hope that someday, something will give. In the meantime, please pardon the noise, dust and occasional flooding. Under construction, you see.

Animal Quiz

justkristin — Mon, 15 Nov 2004 05:11:07 +0000

So, it seems that, according to this quiz, I truly am a “dog person”, with a bit of otter and beaver thrown in. (Thanks, Wags, for the B-n-B moment. I know, I know. I said, “beaver.”)

Sorry Everybody…

justkristin — Sat, 13 Nov 2004 05:11:53 +0000

…indeed. Check out both the gallery and the FAQ. Well done, all. My personal favorite is the one that says something like, “Dear Rest of The World, There have been some troubles at home recently — as you may have heard… Do you think it would be alright if I crashed at your place for about 4 years? I… I can pay rent. Love Aaron”

Make Good Art

justkristin — Sat, 06 Nov 2004 08:11:23 +0000

The desire is there. The motivation sometimes shows its face. Support is available a-plenty. What holds me up, then? If I am to believe that skill comes with practice, then nothing should hold me back. This inspirational speech made by Unka Neil at the Harvey awards offers a verbal kick in the arse:

As a solution to various problems you may encounter upon the way, let me suggest this:

Make Good Art.

It’s very simple. But it seems to work. Life fallen apart? Make good art. True love ran off with the milkman? Make good art. Bank foreclosing? Make good art.

Keep moving, learn new skills. Enjoy yourself.

If I Pray Harder?

justkristin — Wed, 03 Nov 2004 07:11:50 +0000

If I were a religious person, I would believe that I, as well as our country, had been abandoned by God… but I am not. I do despair, though, since it has been abandoned by its people. I wish it were harder for me to believe that our country is so blind to international opinion, that its people are so hoodwinked by a corrupt administration, myriad times caught — on tape no less — lying about important things, about things that affect us, our country (rather than lying about something personal that was no one’s business to begin with), and who we keep around (“we” being a relative term) because its figurehead reminds us of our pseudo-Christian (WWJD? lesse.…war, war, war, cour only the rich and powerful, polute, coddle corporations.…yep, now he is one Christian man), misogynistic, homophobic, xenophobic, alcoholic, illiterate, bullying frat-boy days, and because he seems to be a stalwart leader simply because he never learns, never grows, never changes his mind (or so he says — video has proven otherwise) while the other guy voted one way when being lied to, and another way when he found out the lie, proving his ability to learn and change and admit when he was wrong. I wish that this was all the joke the rest of the world sees it to be (although they and I agree that it is a very scary joke). I despair. I despair for our freedom, for my child, for this country, for the future, for my sanity. Come on, stragglers.

Things I Dislike In A Novel

justkristin — Sun, 31 Oct 2004 03:10:24 +0000

Characters that are either all good or all evil
A story that shows one viewpoint or group as either all good or all evil
Dull or unimaginative or overly-cliche verbiage
Emphasis on the mundane w/o offering a new viewpoint
Too much description of any one thing, no matter how artful
Flat, lifeless, changeless characters
Either all-lovable or all-unlovable characters
Too much input from the narrator if he is not one of the characters
Too much predictability
Complete lack of predictability

This is it for now…still a work in progress.

Things I Like In A Novel

justkristin — Sun, 31 Oct 2004 03:10:16 +0000

Characters with believable personality traits
Thought-provoking themes
An at least occasional breathtakingly beautiful turn of phrase
Some story element that removes me from what could be my own life
Artfully-done descriptions
Some aspect of search, of growth
At least one truly likable character
A bit of the fantastic

This is it for now…still a work in progress.

Periodicals

justkristin — Sun, 31 Oct 2004 02:10:34 +0000

While it was bound to happen, and though I cannot say that I am displeased with the situation, I nonetheless cannot but feel a bit odd and old when I tell y’alls that my daughter, the Smoopster, has begun menstruating…getting a monthly delivery of a box of red roses…taking a little ketchup with her steak…getting visits from aunt Flo…occasionally closing for maintenance…having her terrorist alert go to code red…having communists invade her summer house…joining the hunt for red October…taking her meat rare…brewing on auto-drip…painting the town red…punctuating…rebooting the ovarian operating system…seducing the vampires…sitting on a nice merlot…getting her oil changed…letting Mother Nature stay at her hotel…offering the sacrifice…counting down from egg #180…having her walls repainted…receiving her monthly statement…reapplying her lipstick…playing the Red Sox while they are in town…riding the cotton pony…having her pixies…taking Carrie to the prom…surfing the crimson tide…warring in Virginia…putting too much sauce on the taco…having visits from the Cardinal… Enough? Hey, if I can’t laugh about it, find joy in it, then I will just have to be sad about aging. Anyway, I have come to love my periods — I think of them as healthy and powerful (cheesy and new-agey tho that sounds) and I hope she does too. We will be partying Monday night in celebration of the event. Huzzah! Every change and development in her that I am priviledged to witness is a fantastically magical thing.

As Good A First * As Any

justkristin — Sat, 30 Oct 2004 10:10:07 +0000

I have started a new blog, and this is my first post. I will be starting a novel, and it will be my first. No giving up, no letting my mind talk me out of anything. Wish me luck, everyone.

Just Passing Along The Hypocrisy

justkristin — Mon, 09 Aug 2004 19:19:19 +0000

“I deeply resent the destruction of federalism represented by Hillary Clinton’s willingness to go into a state she doesn’t even live in and pretend to represent the people there,” Keyes said. “So I certainly wouldn’t imitate it.” — Alan Keyes, FOX News, March 2000.

What a hypocrite. Keys, sit down and shut up.