Just Kristin

My kink rat­ing, accord­ing to http://www.hotlanta.com/kinktest.htm is:

Con­grat­u­la­tions!
Your kinky sex score was 620!

Here is the chart so that you can see how you are rated:

Under 100 You need to lighten up and live a lit­tle!
100 to 200 You have an aver­age sex drive in need of kink.
201 to 300 You have sweet hints of a kinky nature.
300 to 400 You are def­i­nitely a kinky player.
400 to 500 You are a major league kinkster!
500 or more Wow! You’re too kinky for most!!!
600 or more SUPER FREAK ALERT! You da BOMB!

Not too sur­pris­ing, really. Feelin’ naughty, dontcha know… :)

Of all the things I got done today, start­ing a new pot­ted gar­den was by far and away the most soul-uplifting. I planted a choco­late pep­per­mint, an African blue basil, a Greek oregano, a curry plant, some ste­via, some gar­lic chives, a few kalan­choe cut­tings and a plant sold sim­ply as “foliage” at a Henry’s gro­cery store. They stood at atten­tion, all lined up on the patio, well watered, and I sat on a chair and looked at them, watched the water hang hang hang hang drip off their green green green leaves… ther­a­peu­tic. I wish I still had all my notes from the hor­ti­cul­ture classes I took in high school. Mr. Dro­bot was one of the best teach­ers I had. He would have known where I could find organic plant food. Any­way, the green­ery ther­apy would have been bet­ter if I could have sat there longer. Work sucked today, and I knew it was going to — I had a pre­mo­ni­tion. Well, I have to tidy up so I can go home. More later.

I love the M-W word of the day — embon­point. It is even bet­ter than Rube­nesque. I will have to use it. (Just an aside: I like Anu Garg’s Word of the Day, which I get via email, much bet­ter than the M-W ver­sion, but any­thing to expand my vocab… kinda like hav­ing a big­ger box of paints. While you are vis­it­ing word­smith, btw, check out these email ser­vices.)

I just (re-)found a site of pub­lic domain lit­er­a­ture that con­tains some sto­ries and essays from one of my favorite authors, Laf­ca­dio Hearn, includ­ing “Mimi-nashi Houichi…read it! :) Hearn was an amaz­ingly per­cep­tive man who cat­a­loged folk­lore in New Orleans and Japan, and is still well known in Japan (by his Japan­ese name, Koizume Yakumo) by stu­dents made to read his col­lec­tions of Japan­ese tales and essays on late-1800s, early 1900s Japan. When I was in Japan, try­ing my best to fit in, he was an inspi­ra­tion to me, both as a “gai­jin” who did suc­cess­fully fit in, and as another “gai­jin” who felt the alien­ation and didn’t let it pull him down.

Any­way, here are some more nice pub­lic domain lit sites:

• Project Guten­berg
• DMOZ Elec­tronic Text Archives list
• Yahoo Elec­tronic Lit­er­a­ture Col­lec­tions list

Eh, those last few were lists, so I don’t need to con­tinue. There is plenty out there to read, even if the list has been cur­tailed by some stu­pid new law.

I have no moti­va­tion at all… I want to teach, and then allow my easily-frustrated self enu­mer­ate all the rea­sons that teach­ing in the US, <a href=”“http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2004/january21/schools-121.html”>let alone in CA, is a los­ing bat­tle, a fight for which I haven’t the strength. I want to write, and then I allow my instantly-discouraged self to point out how dif­fi­cult it is to enter into an arena in which one’s suc­cess is, as with art or music, based more on who you know and how much money you can invest than any­thing else… unless, of course, you posess phe­nom­e­nal tal­ent (at which point the lit­tle devil also asks my sub­con­scious what, oh, what I could pos­si­bly have to offer the canon of works already in exis­tence out there.). I want to live and grow with­out caus­ing pain. I want to raise my child with­out any ran­cor between us. I want to eat and not gain weight. I want to never sleep but to never be tired. I want to burn and not be con­sumed. I want the impos­si­ble. I real­ize the impos­si­bil­ity of my desires and then I freeze. I can’t wait for some­one to melt my ice, to ani­mate my metaphor­i­cal limbs — the peo­ple who sup­port me through both my peri­ods of eager quest­ing and my stints of mossy, whiny stag­nancy are far too good to me. Any­one got a match and some lighter fluid?

This guy is amaz­ing! I’ll bet he can play with him­self for hours! I was try­ing to think of other toys he could use… any ideas?

Ok, well any hope I’d enter­tained that the SAM-e was already kick­ing in (it is sup­posed to be fast) is dying fast if not dead. Bad night. Could use hugs if any­one has any.

Here are some links to get your evening brows­ing started:

• Fright­en­ingly well done doc­u­men­tary flash about Sadam (check the rest of his site, too.…lotsa good stuff)
• The new “jr.”
• Por­tions of the Bible in IRCese. Too damn funny, if you’ve ever been an adict
• Uti­lik­ilts — more men should wear ‘em!
• Drama club dis­qual­i­fied over a great story
• The geeki­est pro­posal I have ever heard of

Enjoy!

Today is my first day tak­ing SAMe as an anti­de­pres­sant. I hope that it works as well if not bet­ter than 5-DHP did. I didn’t even know if the lat­ter was work­ing, and ended up laps­ing off of it, only to find that I became my sad old self. My shrink said that this meant it was doing a very good job, since it helped with­out any not­i­ca­ble side effects. I made the deci­sion to get off of it, though, because a few stud­ies seem to show that con­tin­ued use may be harm­ful, and there are no stud­ies prov­ing oth­er­wise. SAMe, how­ever, has a long his­tory in Europe, and is said to be (nearly?) as effec­tive as our pre­scrip­tion meds.… In the mean­time, I will work on my cog­ni­tive recog­ni­tion skills, excer­cise more,meditate daily, eat health­ier and take my vities. Feel­ing remark­ably good today, tho I am sure it is mostly the con­tent­ment I feel regard­ing my cur­rent res­o­lu­tion to take charge of the abyss lest I some­day find myself buried.

It seems that, inad­ver­tantly, I had set my “from” email address in my .mut­trc to be justkristin@dal.net, which doesn’t work. I have changed it. Those of you who were lovely enough to try email­ing me, please don’t give up. All has been righted, with the “from” now right­fully read­ing kristin@justkristin.com. *sigh* I won­der about myself sometimes.