Just Kristin

I am sad­dened and amused by the smooth yet com­pletely pre­dictable down­swing my day has taken. I hate to blame this mood slide on my period, but lo and behold, just around lunch: the spot­ting, the cramps, the easy tears. It has become so reg­u­lar that I can watch it as one would watch any Friends-style sit­com, the basic premise the same each time, only the names and set­tings slightly switched around, and most of the angst so painful in its obvi­ous avoid­abil­ity that only those involved seem to be unable to cope. Any­way, any­thing more I might write today would be filled with the base­less drama I wal­low in when my body asserts itself and proves agan to me its con­tin­ued fer­til­ity (or at least its abil­ity to destroy that which would be fer­til­ized), so I will write again tomor­row. Hugs to all.

Not ten min­utes after fin­ish­ing my rant about avoid­ing doc­tors, I lost a fill­ing in a piece of gum. Dammit! My favorite doc­tor to avoid, and now a visit is inevitable. The only den­tist I actu­ally like doesn’t take my insur­ance, either. Poop.

Amaz­ing how, when a large per­cent­age of a company’s staff is let go, the remain­ing few start ses­sions of marathon buck-passing. No one wants to do any­thing but that which has been their job in the past. At a time when group lines need to be smudged, craypas-style, they some­how end up even more clearly drawn, as tho with a fine-tipped roller­ball. It is sad, really, and demor­al­iz­ing. Can’t we all just get along? *sad snicker*

All seems rea­son­ably right with the world this morn­ing. D and I got the Smoo to school on time, despite leav­ing later than we’d wanted to. We had been expect­ing the usual South­ern Cal­i­forn­ian inability-to-drive-during-or-after-any-precipitation fall­out to make us late, but luck­ily there were no acci­dents to make us shake our heads or our fists. :P

We lis­tened to an audio­book ver­sion of The Mar­velous Inven­tions of Alvin Fer­nald in the car this morn­ing. I love audio­books as long as they are unabridged. There seems to be no bet­ter way to keep a small child quiet and still in the car than by pro­vid­ing them with sto­ries. D and I have been res­ur­rect­ing favorites from our child­hoods, and Smoo enjoys them in a rapt silence, almost always cul­mi­nat­ing in a dis­ap­pointed “awww” when we arrive at her school and click off the tape. I have to con­fess that, some­times, when the book is engag­ing enough, it takes all of D and my willpower to keep from lis­ten­ing on with­out her.

Any­way, off to work for a bit.

My goal is to make this my last update for the day, put on my paja­mas and go to bed. I really need to catch up on my sleep. Tomor­row I will be deal­ing with insur­ance wee­nies and a dentist’s office that doesn’t know how to bill the right car­rier, so being well-rested is pri­or­ity one.

All in all, I had a good day. I’m caught up on bill-paying thanks to my sweetie. I love that he is good with money, because I am not. Not to say, you under­stand, that I am the “spendy” one of the two of us, but rather that I am the one who saves no receipts, keeps no check­book ledger and can only tell you within $200 or so how much I have in the bank at any given time. I am get­ting bet­ter, Mr. S, really I am, but.…

Any­way, I am off to slumber.

Adden­dum:
Dammit, Phil. Sleep well. Come back refreshed. Namaste.

[dis­claimer: this entry was made waaaay past my bed­time, and is there­fore much fruitier than I usu­ally tend to be]

Two things occurred to me today after lunch:

1. Most of the sim­ple joys of life are only rec­og­nized as such at the moment they hap­pen, and then are com­pletely for­got­ten until the next time. I haven’t yet fig­ured out whether or not it is an inten­tional for­get­ting on the part of our sub­con­scious that keeps them so sat­is­fy­ing, in that the sur­prise adds to their value.
2. Eat­ing a deli­cious and fill­ing lunch out with loved ones when it is chilly but sunny out­side allows one to expe­ri­ence the mul­ti­ple plea­sures of being full to the point of “food coma” (tho not to the point of pain), board­ing a car well heated by the sun, and then roast­ing slowly inside it like a stuffed turkey at Thanks­giv­ing, sur­rounded by lazy cheer and good­will, while oth­ers are chilled to the bone out­side; This is one of the supreme “sim­ple joys of life”. Would you not agree?

I am going to try to keep track of all the SJoL that occur to me when they do, so that I may watch so I don’t miss them, pay bet­ter atten­tion to them, and enjoy them more when they show up on my doorstep. :)

I know that this birth­day wish is belated as far as this site is con­cerned, but I wanted to make my birth­day wishes for you pub­lic, and also wanted to thank you immensely for a won­der­ful evening. You are beyond spe­cial to me. I love you.

Spent a lovely day today: with D and Mom at the farm­ers’ mar­ket in Hill­crest, with D and Smoo at her soft­ball prac­tice, and with D, Smoo and Mr. Syn­dromes at home, clean­ing and mak­ing the “baker’s clay” that Mr. S. and Smoo are now mak­ing ash­trays and poo-snakes with. D is putting together our new dinette, all manly and sweaty on the kitchen floor. I feel warm all over, even tho we haven’t yet made the fire we had planned.

My fam­ily is large…large and unre­lated to me by blood, or, in many cases, even by any kind of legal rela­tion­ship. There was a time when this would have made me uneasy and scared, but now I find supreme secu­rity in the fact that I am both cho­sen and chooser. I feel more sup­port at this point in my life than I ever have. I hope that I earn all this. I know I want to try. That’s what you do in a herd. :)

We cleaned the liv­ing room quite thor­oughly today, rid­ding it of months of bird fluff and dust. I am going to have black snot for a week.

Aaron came by to get Java today. I made him promise not to bring any­one else into the house, as it was still in quite a state of dis­ar­ray (read: filth). If only he’d waited until now. Now I am proud…at least of the liv­ing room. I am going to miss Java’s babble.

Smoo is turn­ing into quite the sporto. It pleases me that it doesn’t cause her any of the angst that sports caused me as a child. Then again, I know I didn’t have the won­der­ful self-image she does when I was a child.

I really need to start sit­ting again. Per­haps take a med­i­ta­tion break at work every day. This week will be a good week to start.

Any­way, I am off to help D with the assem­bly. Hope you all are well. Who are you any­way? Besides Mr. S., that is.

Haven’t seen an update to the site at all since the year in review 2001. Your fans are rest­less! Con­sider this your pub­lic sham­ing (even tho not one per­son has yet vis­ited my lit­tle slice-o-the-net). C’mon, buddy! Get with it! :)

Many and much shenani­gans today, and for most of them, tag-alongs are wel­come and encouraged:

• Morn­ing cof­fee and a smack­erel of some­thing at the Cof­fee Bean and Tea Leaf in Mira Mesa, prob­a­bly at around 8 (as tho any of you will be up and ready).
• A Rock­et­girls game at noon, at Tor­rey Pines Ele­men­tary. The girls are one and one, and they really play hard.
• Lunch, some­wheres. Any suggestions?
• In some order, Ikea and Nijiya. Have to get started buy­ing things for the kitchen and bed­room, as well as food for
• Robin’s birth­day party. This is the only one for which I haven’t the power of invi­ta­tion. Dunno how long I’ll be able to be there, since at 8:30-ish tonight, I have to
• Pick up mom at the air­port. She has been in Nebraska vis­it­ing a cousin who, I am beyond thrilled to announce, is now free of can­cer. Huzzah!

Any­way, if you’re inter­ested in any of the above, lemme know.